Hello my readers, all three of you. I’m here out of schedule because of something that happened to me recently and I’d like to share with you. I’m terribly disappointed as I’ve been duped by someone I trusted. We all use masks, that is the way we protect ourselves and we present ourselves to others so they will like us.
This masks might be more or less complex and we all know it, but there is a point where the mask detaches itself and transforms completely into it’s own distinct persona. When that happens and you are made to believe this persona is somebody else then there is something wrong, then there is pretense, there is trickery, there is deception. Deception, even with the best of intentions, is still deception. It destroys one’s confidence, sets you back to a point before the lie started and makes you question all the decisions you’ve made from that point on. And I can honestly say that if I hadn’t grown mentally as I have in the last months this would have been a terrible blow. But I have and it isn’t. I am, yes, disappointed, but that’s it. I am not angry because I’m really trying to expunge that feeling from my life. A few days ago I heard a Tony Robbins track where he speaks precisely of this in a way that was new to me. What he said was, to me, so new and so right that as soon as I heard it “became evident”. I am sure you know the feeling, it is the same feeling you have after solving a complicated riddle or a problem and finding the solution to many more from that, well, that was the feeling. He was saying how growing one’s vocabulary helps us growing one’s set of emotions. He used the example of anger. If the only word we have for it is anger then, mentally, we won’t differentiate between feeling a little angry or a lot, because the underlying emotion is the same, and even if it varies in intensity the effects on ourselves are the same. Now, if we have many words for that emotion, describing each one a different degree of the emotion, the underlying effects are not the same. The next step should be to ban from our vocabulary the word that has the most damaging effect on us. It may be because it takes us back to a moment so terrible that we are in a way reliving it because of the simple use of this word. Words may not be so powerful as smells triggering memories, but they are pretty good at it. So, back to this that happened to me. I’ve been set back and duped by people close to me, but I’m not angry, I’m just “peeved”, because getting all worked up about this will in no way help me getting my life back in place, it will take longer and more work, yes, but I’ll do it regardless. And you, what words will you ban from your vocabulary and thus create that change you need in your life?
But those cases are extreme. Now, on the other hand, people who don’t love themselves enough or not at all are much more common. I myself am going through an episode right now, when self doubt and loathing were part of my routine, as you can deduce from my earlier posts. Loving myself means respecting myself, doing what is right and good for myself, not letting others hurt me or the ones I love as suggested on a comment somewhere, all of that and much more are components of my love of self. As mentioned in the previous post this includes shutting down my inner bully. You may think “not that inner bully again…”
To love yourself you need to go deeper and silence the little bully. You need to love you so much that your love irradiates from you to the world. It sounds terribly corny but it’s right. True love irradiates from you like light from a candle or a star. It’s brighter near the source and fades with distance, and the only way to shine bright enough to illuminate the whole world is to shine stronger at the source, and that’s within yourself. So, please, love yourself first.
, just bigger, it’s only a matter of scale.” Not even those reassuring words from the recruiter could comfort the candidate. It was the same effect headlights have on deer on a mountain road at night, and the expression must have been very similar because the interview was pretty much over there and then. When my friend recovered the damage had been done, the enthusiasm the would be boss expressed was gone and he only managed to remind how this was a complicated process and he had more people to interview for the post. That was it. Or was it? The truth is dear reader that I can’t offer you closure right now because this is an ongoing situation, so we will see how it unfolds. If you want to know how this ends please come back later and you’ll know.
everyday too. He would pass an old man who used to beg on a corner and everyday he would give him some coins, in one occasion he even gave him a bill. This daily ritual repeated itself until one day when the man had no coins and no bills, for the first time he was barely making ends meet. “I work hard for my money and I deserve a prize from time to time” he thought as he was buying that pair of gorgeous and expensive Italian shoes on which he had spent much more than he used to. He didn’t expect to be ambushed by all the emotions that he felt when he saw the old man and wasn’t able to give him any money. Surprise was the first emotion, surprise when he realized it was the corner where the old man used to be and that he couldn’t help him today. Shame was the second, shame when he tried to go back on his steps but they gaze of the old man crossed his own, who, upon seeing him, smiled, just a little. The third one was rage, the rage that he felt with the old man for making him feel ashamed, after all, it wasn’t his duty to give him money. Sadness was the fourth the sadness that the old man shared with him when the man told him “I don’t have money today old man, can’t you see I bought this gorgeous and expensive shoes and spent it all?” that’s when the smile on the old man’s face turned into a frown of extreme sorrow. So great why the sadness in the old man’s face that the fifth emotion was curiosity, because by no means the amount that he used to give him could mean so much to him to cause this much pain. “Easy old chap, I’ll double it next time, don’t be sad, I owe you” he told him trying comfort him. The old man answered “What makes me sad is seeing myself, you know, I was you once, but somebody stole all my money and I ended up here, in the street