Month: March 2016

I’m a Toastmaster

I’ve recently joined an organization whose purpose is the teaching of public speaking skills and the development in each member of leadership abilities. For those of you who know me you’ll easily see how both skill sets might come handy to me. I am not a confident person as you might very well have figured out by now. I also am someone who’s changing his worldview, mostly on what I want in life, how I can achieve it, and how I can get help getting the results I want. That last part for me is very difficult, not because I am arrogant, that I might be, but because I’m really not that smart and it’s very hard for me to learn and I don’t like to show that side of myself. How I’m dealing with this will be the subject of another post, maybe next week.

Now, all that been said I’d like to talk more about this wonderful organization that is Toastmasters. First things first. Toastmasters was founded in 1905 by Ralph C. Smedley while he worked as education director at the YMCA in Bloomington Illinois, USA. There he saw the need to teach young men speaking abilities, how to conduct meetings, plan programs and leadership. I will not elaborate here on the history, you can check it out by yourselves following this link, suffice it to say that since then Toastmasters International has grown to a worldwide organization with more than 280,000 members in some 14,000 clubs in 116 countries, a big success.

My first experience with Toastmasters was on february of this year when I attended a meeting as a walkin. I arrived a little late so I didn’t get to see the start of the session. I was immediately mesmerized. The diversity of the people was complete, but yet they all seemed no only at ease, but in sync with what was going on. They all presented their speeches, they were evaluated by one of their peers, given advice on what they did right and what they could do better, and there was absolute camaraderie yet there was complete order. I was hooked. I returned the following week as an walkin again to see the complete development of a session, I was so impressed again that by the end of the evening I was subscribing to become a member.

As Toastmasters primary goal is to teach we are not only there to socialize, we are there to learn. More experienced members teach newer ones by serving as mentors and evaluators, and we also get a set of manuals where we can find the different skills that we must learn in every step of our self paced learning. In the month and a half I’ve been a member I’ve given one speech, my icebreaker, which is the first one that a new member gives and where he makes an official presentation of himself to the club and invites. I’ve also had the opportunity to act as Toastmaster for the night, which means I had to host the meeting, which is a challenge on itself of leadership, organization skills and speaking skills, all of my shortcomings were graciously accepted by my colleagues and not one of them rolled her eyes, or stood up and left, so I would like to thank them for that.

As I ready myself to present my second speech tonight, march the 29th. 2016, I am really excited to do this, which would seem odd. As poll after poll show how the fear of public speaking is amongst the most prevalent of all, in some cases topping the fear of death, which inspired Jerry Seinfeld, funny person amongst funny persons, to write the joke that says “the average person, if you have to be in a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy”. So, I’m starting to see myself a little bit differently, because if it only takes one meeting a week for six weeks to make me get rid of this “big fear” either it’s easier than I thought to get rid of my fears or in the end it was not such a big deal to me and it’s something I rather like. I’m thinking the latter.

There you have it for today. If you’d like to face your fear of public speaking, would like to learn the skill and also pick up some leadership resources, check out your local Toastmasters club, if you live in Mexico City you can come to mine, Club BIAM, you’re more than welcome. As always I’d love to see your comments down below.

Actionable Growth Mindset

Changes big and small

I’ve recently had a birthday, my 45th for that matter, and of course I’m in full midlife crisis mode. My whole world is changing around me, after the turmoil will it be better or worse I cannot truly say right now, what I can say is that changes are a’ coming.
Changes. We might like them or despise them but in the end is what life is all about. Changes. We might embrace them or fear them, but they’re always there. We change all the time, granted sometimes so slowly we don’t notice right away, we notice when somebody else points it out with something like this “wow, what’s up with all that gray hair?” Or they might be dropped on us by some accident or a feat of good fortune. There are always changes.

Big changes are something we all know about. Big happy changes like getting your dream job, marrying the love of your life or being a parent, those are big happy changes. There are also tragedies, personal or even global, an illness, a traffic accident, a death in the family, or maybe less dramatic, losing a job, a divorce, having the kids grow up and move out. All of this are big changes. This big changes might create opportunities that we never thought about before, and those are the ones we have to look for when they come, we can surf the wave, or we can wait for the dust to settle. Yes, you can do either, there is no recipe here, no one size fits all. Every occurrence will be different, you might be in a good place to start something new and change something else in your life before settling down again, or you might want to wait and hope for the changes to end as soon as possible and try to regain control of your life, keeping, as much as you can, a sense of normality. As you might know by now I’m more for a balanced point of view rather than an extreme one.

Small changes are different. If we don’t do anything changes will always be disruptive. If we don’t keep up our bodies or our things they’ll decay, a chip of paint off a wall won’t spontaneously repair itself. Our teeth will soon decay if we don’t floss and brush regularly. Those are natural changes that left to themselves will destroy more that produce, so we must keep an eye on upkeep of our bodies and surroundings. Seeing this, how small relentless changes can destroy something, we can ask ourselves the following “In the same way that there is destruction in small steps, can there be construction in small steps?” And of course the answer is yes. This is what we do when we exercise, we don’t see our body build muscle overnight, it takes time and dedication. If we go on a diet we don’t see results the next day. Those are gradual changes. But there are other aspects of our lives where this way of thinking helps us, but it’s not easy. Now we are entering the realm of habits. Good habits that replace bad ones. Bad habits creep on us without us really wanting them. We might one day relax because we are feeling a little sick and we might skip the gym and next thing we know we’ve been last seen there two months ago and our belly’s showing it. So we replace bad habits with good ones, and then we make sure we keep them. We make good habits stick by not letting them slip, good thinking. Now, we can go a step further, and ask “are there other things that I can change a little and that will make me a little better?”. As you might expect the answer is a big fat Yes. And this is not my idea this is best explained by what Dave Brailsford accomplished when he coached Team Sky, a British cycling team back in 2010, to Tour de France glory in 2012, 2013 and 2015. He called his approach “aggregation of marginal gains” and he described it as “the 1 percent margin for improvement in everything you do.” Everything you do. Not only exercising, tyre weight and pressure, diet, this are the usual ones, he went as far as to experiment on what pillow was best for a restful sleep, how to wash your hands so you get ill a little less and many other things that we might think are not important, but in the aggregate are important. This small marginal gains can help us achieve much more. Of course I’m not saying that all you need do is wash your hands properly, I’m saying this is something you need take care of as well as many other things in your life. Gradual changes that can bring big rewards.

So there you have it, changes big and small, good and bad, so many changes. If you tame your attitude to the big ones you can always come out stronger, and if you channel the small ones for your benefit you can also come out stronger and better. How do you cope with changes and make them happen will define how happy you can come to be now and in the future. Are you ready to make some good changes in your life? As always, please comment down bellow.

Actionable English Mindset Procrastination Self-confidence

“The art of the start”

The title comes from a quote from the title of Guy Kawasaki’s book because it fits so well to the point I want to make, even though his book is about entrepreneurship and this post, well, is not. Now, what this post is about is getting started. Getting started might seem so simple, and in a way it is, but, at least for us procrastinators, it is the hardest part to get to. Starting means being decided, being committed, being there. As we get ready keep fumbling and stumbling, we might think things twice or thrice, yes, that’s a word, and is important to know words, before thinking them once again, and that’s OK, we can think and plan all we want, but when it’s time to start, we start.

When we start we engage, we build, we produce. By starting we set on a journey, we give our lives some sense, even if the task can seem meaningless or is a lifelong journey. Starting is something we do all the time. Every morning we start a new day, we start a new meal or we start a new commute. We are constantly starting. You might think it’s not the same thing because we are repeating and we know what will happen. In a way you do, although you already know that not two days are the same, similar, but not the same, surprises happen. And let’s use that familiarity with our willingness to start. We don’t even think it twice before going out the door in the morning. Familiarity of what’s to come has diluted the fear or anxiety we might have had before. We know where we’re going, what route we will take, how much time it’ll take and we have it pretty much known. And that can be the same thing for something new we are going to embrace for the first time. How? By using some of many visualization techniques that are available to us. I have already talked a little about visualization in my post “Seeing the future” that you might want to check out. You can then visualize your way into familiarity and that will help reduce your fear. We can overcome all when we start, we can overcome none when we don’t. Starting is getting the ball rolling, we roll and roll and roll when we’ve started, but not when we are yet to do so. Even in physics there is more resistance to start than to keep on moving, what’s called static friction and dynamic friction, it takes less work to keep an object in motion than to put it in motion. We are the same, once we are in motion it takes less work, in this case, willpower, to keep going than what it took us to start moving. What can we do to start then if that is the hardest part? We make up excuses, like the following ones.

The “It’s too late excuse”. We’ve all been there, when we face the excuse that “it’s too late now, why even bother” and unless it physically is too late then any moment is a good one to start.

The “I’ll do it later” excuse. It’s good to wait for the right moment to do something, no use in getting to the office at 2:00 AM or starting preparing for the New Year in the first week of March. But when the time is right, we start.

The “I’m not ready” excuse. This one’s a little trickier because we might not be ready. But we can feel it when we are genuinely not ready and when we are just stalling. When we are getting ready we are eager to start, when we are stalling, we are not.

The “I don’t know why I am doing this” excuse. Again, this one is also a little tricky, because we might not know why we are doing something, we have to figure it out first. Most of the time a valid reason not to do something is when we are being forced to do it by someone who is manipulating us. For all other reasons, we take the Nike stance and “Just do it”

Last but not least, the “I don’t want to do it” excuse. Like the last one this can have some validity, but we can feel it in our gut when it doesn’t, then we can also “Just do it” and start.

Now, starting is easier than doing, we are not committing ourselves to go all the way, just starting. We’ll just start. We’ll only lay the first brick. But we know how this works, and we’ve seen above how much easier it is to go on than to start. Once we start we tend to keep on going, inertia takes over and we go on and on and on until we’re done or until a stronger force stops us. I hope this helps you, remember, just getting started helps you getting to the finish line in a way you didn’t imagine it before. I’d love to read your comments about this and other posts either here or on our Facebook page, and thanks for reading.

Actionable English Growth Procrastination

The “Productivity Equivalence” III

Post author By oliviernovel
Post date March 1, 2016
No Comments on The “Productivity Equivalence” III

This is the third and last post on the Productivity Equivalence. We have worked on the positive elements of the equivalence and now it’s time to work on the negative ones.

PE = Sleep + Diet + Exercise + Meditation/Prayer/Silence – Stress – Distractions

The negative elements are stress and distractions. As I said before you have maybe other feelings and attitudes that you would like to put on the side. Be my guest, please accommodate this equivalence best fits your needs, this is what it is for, so you can have an idea of what is working for you and what is working against you.

Stress. As we know stress can be very harmful. High levels of cortisol for prolonged periods of time have been known to cause harm to the body. This stress causes also behavior changes that take a toll, most of the time a very heavy one, on our relationships. Some might be saying right now “well, be less stressed, easier said than done” Yes, it’s easy to say, but it’s also easy to do. What’s not easy is to take the right step and make the decision to do it, that’s the hard part. We have to understand that the decisions we make affect the present and the future. What we have from our past cannot be changed, it is done, it is what has brought us to where we are right now. At each present moment we can make decisions that transform our lives, make or not make a phone call, visit or not someone, write or not a story, keep or not a relationship. We have to decide what we want for us right now.If we don’t do it ourselves somebody else will or something else will. So it’s really that easy we have to deal with the stress you have to decide if you want to continue living a stressful life or not. if we decide we want to continue to leave stressful life then we must understand the price but we are willing to pay. we don’t want to live a stressful life and the only way to reduce the stress is to scale down then that is something we have to do. In the end it’s our choice, it is what we want and, as with everything else, we are responsible. I am not advocating that we have to eliminate all stress from our lives, some stress is useful, some stress is necessary. Without stress there is no excitement, no fun, no triumph. We need stress, but as we need water, too much water we drown and die, too little water we dry up and die, we need just enough.
Distractions. Distractions are those activities that do not help us get closer to our goals. When we procrastinate and don’t do what we have to do we are getting distracted. When we were little and people told us “you can be anything” what they meant was “you can be whatever you set your goals to, and then work your ass off to get them” and distractions are what will keep us from reaching those goals. Some will start saying “you can’t be an NBA player, you’re too short” That’s true, but I can still play basketball, and work for the NBA or an NBA team, or a sportswear company that sells basketball apparel, I can still be all basketball if that’s what I want. But I have to focus on that, all the time. Distractions can take me offcourse in a big way, as would be getting stuck in a job that’s I hate because “I have to pay the bills” and never trying to build an alternate reality and then moving to that, or can take me offcourse in a subtle but constant way, as would be watching two hours of TV every night to “relax”, or wasting ten minutes on Facebook every hour. All those are examples of distractions. One of the most effective tools in our belt against distraction is the ability to focus. Yes, as I said many times before on other posts, being able to focus is one of the abilities we need to develop. The ability to focus and to regain focus quickly if it is lost for a moment is of paramount importance. An example of regaining focus quickly is being able to get back to what’s important seconds after being interrupted by a phone call, and alarm, an impromptu visit from a colleague with an unimportant question. But also being able to focus on long term goals. That focus, that has to be permanent for long periods of time has to deal with other different distractions. You get distracted when you get discouraged, discouraged because you can’t see the result of your labor and after a while you angst and question if the seed you planted will in the end bear the fruits you desire. You get distracted when you see other opportunities pass you by and you wonder if there are making the right choice. You get distracted by your entourage when they question your sanity and the value of what will be gained and instead of pushing you and helping you they want you to stop and hinder you. All of this requires courage yes, but most of all requires focus, and that’s what you have to train for, every single day.

So there you have it, we’ve taken three posts but we have dissected the Productivity Equivalence. As I said before, you might have other parameters you’d like to keep track off for your own version of the equivalence, but if you don’t, feel free to use this one, and for every action that you engage in check where it affects the most, where it puts in and where it puts out and decide on that information if it’s good or bad. As always, I’d love to read your comments on the subject, thank you for reading.